RIcki,

NIce tune. I like your lyrics, but I've mostly been impressed with your melodies, and I see a good start here.

On this one, I think you're not taking advantage of a great melody on the chorus.

From

-- Oh now the blowing wind

you wrap it up too soon and fall back to

-- Begins

Honestly, most of the song is a bit monotone, which is not necessarily bad. But that line -- "Oh now the blowing wind" -- if you built on it, would make this a much better song. That's the line that lifts the song, but you let it fall back to soon. I hear that line repeated at least once, with perhaps a 3rd line before the wrap up line "Begins". Or better yet, end the chorus with a bit more interesting melody.

On the verses, it seems you're a little melodically uncommitted. I suggest thinking of lines 3/4 on the verses as a small "lift" before the chorus.

..ant



My albums "Rhythms of Life" and "Out On The Road" are on Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music.