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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
HiDee Bro Billy!
Your printed-out Hook here swung me in...Real DIFFO & Catchy! Music's Quite-Catchy & Vox, too, very enjoyable.
V1 & Chorus set this up as Comedic, (yet-caring), pretty Well, JMO.
V2 I'd sug "fix" in place of "get" the aneurism. (K-O-S) Last Couplet's where this veers-of into pretty Dark HumorLand...COULD be on the Softer-Side..& catch more Audience Appreciation, JMO again.
Frinstance:
"Give your wife a little peck, your life ain't a total wreck/
Limber-up & Start to stretch, this ain't no day to die..." (K-O-S)
V3's more-optimistic, ends Comedically-Enough to be Satisfying...(tho Pee Jokes are...waal..you know..heh!)
Overall, I enjoyed it, tho, yeah, I'm not known for worryin' if somethin's-PC-or-not, so I'm not your best Soundin' Board for Audience Acceptance.
Good Luck with it...It's certainly New Ground & Different..& Fun!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
Last edited by "TampaStan" Good; 01/21/10 01:18 PM.
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