Great story, Kevin. Really resonated with me because my dad used to do the same thing. It's funny that I now remember the times we spent working more than I do the finished product. smile

This feels pretty good to me - yeah some phrasing issues but those are easily solved. The only part I'm not entirely sold on is the part where the kid is on TV. It seems a little off the story - and used primarily as a way to get to the chorus again.

I wonder if there isn't a more effective way to get back to the chorus and still keep the story tight?

Very nice work on this - I would keep nibbling away at the lyric until it's there.

Scott