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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
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OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hey Shayne,
I was actually thinking, as I worked on it, that I might want it to be lengthier! At 199 words, I think it's one of the shortest I've ever worked on! The music clocks in at 3:13. But it sounds like you're saying that perhaps there's not enough of a story? I see it as: first defining the place that was built, then its destruction, then the possibility of "what if," then the actual journey itself, then the actual reason for the split, and then the conclusion. I'll discuss this with Aaron!
Also, yes, each section has a different length, and I don't know -- a different rhyme scheme doesn't really seem too crazy either! To my ear, it worked with the music, which I know hasn't been posted yet. But I think that it will definitely help to hear the music!
Thank you for your help and always thoughtful comments!
Lisa
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