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Hi Lisa,

Beautifully done, and I read the article afterwards and it seems you've kept the truth intact while turning this into a moving lyric with a changing chorus.

One thing occurred to me as possibly being overstated, and that's "He braved harsh elements/While people stared/For too many years/Not a soul cared" when in truth there were probably a lot of people who cared, but weren't in any position to really do anything about the poor animal, so my thought was that something like "so few seemed to care" might be more accurate. I can imagine the sight of a chained elephant who looked skeletal would have been alarming to many people, especially tourists.

"Why do you still cry/who is there to free you" insinuates that Rahu had been crying for a time well before he was freed, and he very well may have been crying tears of sadness for years, before, but the construction of the lines makes me have to stop and think. The thought of their being tears both before and after is a good thought, but I had to arrive there with a little brain work. This is okay if you don't mind some lines being poetic and needing time to understand! I find it rather beautiful and don't need perfect transparency in every line to enjoy a song or lyric.

I could hear John Prine singing this in my head, and found myself welling up a bit while reading your lyric; it captures the emotion of Rahu's plight and eventual freedom very beautifully.

Well done, Lisa!

Mike