Hi Beachbc.

First of all I have "tidied" up the lyrics with a few minor suggestions, mostly punctuation and grammer. No big deal as there is not a lot wrong with your original lyrics. Grammer and punctuation nowadays is not really important in song lyrics. It's the message that counts. The second line is a bit puzzling. To stay in the green grass.
I understand "keep off the grass" a sign common in parks and the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe you could explain what is meant?
Anyway here is my suggestions for what they are worth.




I'm movin' but life is movin' too fast.
I'm tryin' to stay in the green grass.

So don't miss, understand
the words I feed you from my hand.
They're meant for you.

And don't try, to make this,
More than it really is.
These words I say to you.

I'll lie here,
Waiting for the snow to fall.
And hope that this summer was worth it all.

I'm tryin to keep my head above water.
I'm just trying to get some air.
I'm hoping that life will be better.
Come and save me from despair.


To the song itself.
As was pointed out already the eq and fx did not help the song.
That needs sorted out. I think to do the song any justice it needs re recording.
Behind the distortion I think you have a good voice. Your guitar playing was pretty good and complimented the feelings expressed in the song.
This song does not need much extra doing to it. Just a general clean up of the demo.

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR THE FUTURE..... BIG JIM



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=687727&songID=5238055