JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "Cookie" Rev. 5/19 again -- Changes in GREEN

EDIT: 5/19 -- CHANGES IN GREEN (Maybe that little rhyme is a sign.... )

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EDIT 5/18:
After much encouragement, I finally took some time this afternoon to figure out what the dickens was the problem on this song...and try to rememdy it. Though I could have gone in either of two different directions, I'm actually pleased with how it's turned out.

Do let me know how it works for you....and as usual, all comments welcome.

Also, thanks for your patience on this hopefully mostly-final draft. As this type is in purple, I'll put the NEW version first, below, in purple font too. Hope that makes sense!

Enjoy!!

Beth

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EDIT: Hellow There! In good conscience, I couldn't keep thanking people for their responses here when there was Work To Be Done. So Wy and Joe (and Stan), thanks for redirecting me. Though I'm still struggling with that happy medium, I hope you find the revised "resolution" a bit more palatable...
So let's try this again.....and please don't hold back on your thoughts...(AS IF !)

Beth

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"Cookie" - Revised 5/18
© 2009 Lyrics Beth Williams, BMI

Her nickname was Cookie
Oh the boys loved to look-ie
She was happy to give
Whatever they too-kie
Sometimes this meant
A few rounds of nook-ie
No worries for her,
She wasn’t a rookie

Her real name was Doris
But that was a snore-is
Alas pretty soon
They called her a whore-is
She’d do it wherever
The bed or the floor-is
It was never enough
Always, more-more-MORE-is

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
You kept getting burnt
So just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
Not much left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs

She called ‘em all Honey
Never asked for no money
[color:#009900]Just livin’ and lovin
Until some buddy
Put a bun in her oven
And it made her feel funny
Now she had to make plans
For what had begun-ny

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
You kept getting burnt
So just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
Not much left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs

No need to fret, since she’d had scares before
She’d long ago set an account up off-shore
Bought a new bassinet, then she opened a store
And made a success out of “Cookie’s Galore”

Cookie
Smart Cookie
You knew about vices
Now tending each sweet tooth
With sugar and spices
Great on a lunch break
And warm in the sack
Daughter Ginger learned quickly
She made quite a snack[/color]


Hey Boys and Girls,

I was reminded of this lyric of mine thanks to Jean's "Food" Challenge. I like the quirky format...but I'm not sure if the tone of the story and/or its resolution follow properly. Whaddya think? Any and all comments welcome.

Thanks!
BethP.S. Sorry Y, not your kind of Cookie -- or maybe it is???

"Cookie" -- Original-ish
© 2008 Lyrics Beth Williams

Her nickname was Cookie
Oh the boys loved to look-ie
She was happy to give
Whatever they too-kie
Sometimes this meant
A few rounds of nook-ie
No worries for her,
She wasn’t a rookie

Her real name was Doris
But that was a snore-is
Alas pretty soon
They called her a whore-is
She’d do it wherever
The bed or the floor-is
It was never enough
Always, more-more-MORE-is

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
You kept getting burnt
So just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
NOT MUCH left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs

SHE CALLED 'EM ALL "HONEY"
AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY
LIKED LIVIN' AND lovin
FOR NO SPECIAL ONE-Y
SO when in her oven
She found A BOY bun-ny
She CHRISTENED HIM Chip
AND gave UP HER son-ny

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
You kept getting burnt
So just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
NOT MUCH left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs

BUT COOKIE WASN'T KOOKY, HAD A SWEET TOOTH OF HER OWN
SHE HAD TO PLAY HER CARDS RIGHT OR SHE'D END UP ALL ALONE

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
YOU KNEW WHAT I WANTED
YOUR GOODIES WERE GOOD
SO THAT'S WHAT YOU FLAUNTED
AND NOW IN RETURN FOR YOUR GOD-GIVEN SKILLS
HERE'S MY PLATINUM AMEX
GO RACK UP SOME BILLS!