Hi Beth,

This is full of interesting comparisons and I'm not sure what tone you are going for here, but Ill give you my take on it.

The cute rhymes in the beginning give it an ironic spin as we learn more and more about "Cookie"..and her most personal details are given matter-of-fact, which makes it tragic to me. Theres a strong emotional message lying beneath the set up of these words that you choose. But its disguised by the cutenesswhich, depending on the music, could make it go one way or the other.

I think there could be a better endingthose last three lines dont do her justice in my eyes.I think it needs a lost soul kind of ending.but thats just me.

With the right music, I think itd make a dynamite song, Bethwith these opposing forces compelled to compete with each other. Is it that Lizzie Borden song that this reminds me of? The point is it could be on the edge of eerie if you wanted it to run that way. You have the control...and you know you do!! LOL So, it's really up to you!

I'd like to hear this when you get the music!

Kristi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist