Kevin,

I liked the song, but agree that there are rushed lines in there, I'm just addressing singing issues, which is difficult without singing it.


These lines need trimmed:


I would get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near, please tell Santa
I was good this year, and can you ask him for me please ...



I think you should try singing this line differently instead of sitting on "do"....and if you....do this...for me


and if you do this for me


This maybe can be sung: and spent the week fixing, painting (then pause) making it look sleek...


and we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek


Don't know if that makes sense, hard to type out what sings in my head...

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore