Hey Kevin:

I think this is a big improvement over the earlier version. In fact, I think it's pretty much there. Maybe still a phrasing issue or two - mostly thinking of these lines:

we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek

But it's a better story now. And the mix sounded good to me too.

Only other thing I wondered about was whether the line before the chorus could lift more (melodically) into the chorus. However, I should say I wondered that at the first chorus but didn't notice at the others - so it might just be that it went against my expectation the first time.

As I mentioned above, this really resonated with me because of my own experiences along these lines. Now it does even more. smile

Scott