Beautiful tune...Love the piano & the intricate vocal. But I would shorten the time on this where I can

For a Ballad 4:16 is simply way too long...There is some fat you could & IMO should trim...Your intro I would cut down to 8-12 seconds...(Saving 10-12)

Also, I would cut those 2 extra lines in verse 2 & 4...You are simply repeating line 4's information in each and these line really serve no function...You don't need those lines. You really do not need lines 5 & 6 at all IMO, & you certainly don't need to tell us what you already told us...Just launch to your CHORUS...You should save another 24-26 seconds between both of these...So with this trimming it would cut 30-38 seconds off & get you comfortably under 4 minutes


Why I can't see my friend
How did this all just end
You were there and now you're gone
How do I move on
How do I move on
My friend

And now it's time for me to go
But here's what you must know
I never want another friend
I can't go through this again
Go through this again
My friend

Just a thoughtt


Thanks, Steve, for your comments. This is a demo for now. If I decide to do something with it I will definitely refer to your suggestions

Steve

Creators of music have a responsibility to their craft. When they have finished using all the notes and words, they must pass them down to the next generation with a simple request. “Use these to create new music.”...Steven McDonald