Hi Snake,

I was at pineyfest, sitting up at the bar. I saw you there and was going to say hi but you and the sandwich fairies flew off. Anyway, nice to put a face to your name.

I also like the first two verses best. I think you could expand on the idea of awakening to the sun and think about some imagery that moves towards that idea. Does her smile reflect the sun? Is her touch soft as a flower petal?
In the line, Daisy comes to push all the negativity away, I love the use of the word push, because a daisy pushes the dirt away to grow and bloom.

Just a little rewriting and this one is really nice.


Vondelle Hebert

http://cdbaby.com/cd/vondelle