Snake...

Hello. I think this is the first time we have met. My pleasure.

It has been quite a treat to watch the evolution of this lyric. I was fortunate enough to have gone through this process a little while back. Rachel Kerr, a friend of mine from Kingston, Jamaica, helped me rewrite a song here on the boards over a period of a week or so. It was a great experience.

Your lyric has taken on a whole new face and personality. I really like what you have here. I am not a nit-picky critiquer. If something reads good to me, or sounds good to me, and has reasonable structure and tells an interesting story, it works for me. Each one of us would write every song on these boards a little differently than everyone else.

I don't see much of anything that I would change. This lyric speaks to me, tells me a story, creates images for my mind and doesn't leave me guessing about anything. It works quite nicely for me. I enjoyed it...and the process. Best of luck with this.

Al

Last edited by Al David; 08/22/07 04:47 AM.