Writing jazz lyrics before music is difficult IMO, because jazz generally has a complex, compound time signature.

Forgive me if you know this, but time signatures are used to indicate how the musical rhythm and meter is organized.

The upper number in the time signature indicates the number of beats in a measure. The lower number indicates which note value receives one beat.

Common jazz time signatures are 5\4, 9\8, and you even get complex stuff like 11\4 etc.

Most of the stuff that gets posted here is 4\4, and sometimes people like to throw in a 3\4, which is the "waltz" .

I am saying this because it means that meter wise, in jazz you get your rhymes and emphases at "odd" places, and not "regularly" spaced at all.

Here I pick up some of that irregularity, but I do not get a sufficient flavour of jazz so I cannot comment on how you hear this and on the metering of this one.

Word wise, I like what you did, basing this on a book. One of my personal favourites, lyric and melody wise, was based on Breakfasting at Tiffany's, so I guess if you need to "present" this better, my advice is to go for the central themes and the "pithy" thoughts presented by the author.

One specific comment. I don't think drug a tense of drag.

Hope this helps!

If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop