JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Penny In The Fountain

OMG Greg,

This is a hoot. Great hook, and great play on it with the name Penelope.

Still, you really threw me off a couple of times (in a good way, don't worry!) ....

First, I was sad that he felt he had to make all the physical changes...so I wonder if in that regard, you might have her hooking up with a less than stellar-looking guy.

Second, when you talked about "going for a double", I thought you were suggesting you wanted to get ANOTHER gal, upping the ante from a "couple" to a "triple". Again, that's a different song!

And talk about a dark ending!! It works for me -- but I wonder if there's some extra way to work in her actually being IN the fountain, to play on the hook more. Maybe he pushes her in at the end....or it's late at night when he sees the couple, and they're frolicking/skinny-dipping in the fountain? I dunno, just some more wacky food for thought.

The only other thought would be to do a little condensing, as it's a bit wordy. (I know, the kettle calling the pot black... )

Regardless, I'm diggin' this one, Greg. Totally my sense of humor (you sick son-of-a-b! )....

Later,
Beth