Hey Stephen

Believe me, I know the feeling.... Been there.

This verse is a tad awkward:

She's the new girl in school.
Florida girl, man aint she cool.
All the boys stumblin' on themselves like she's a rocker in a band.

You go to the present tense "She IS the new girl..." and you use "girl" in the next line too.

Maybe something like
"As the new girl in school
Florida bread and oh so cool"

And "the boys stumbling on themselves..." line could maybe be like something other than a "rocker in a band".

"All the boys stumbled on themselves like clumsy cads"

Not that I suggest those words, but I think "like she's a rocker in a band" isn't the best analogy for guys that are hot over a girl. And I put it in the past tense to.

Otherwise I like the melody and the story and the sentiment.

Tech notes:
• I suggest turning your vocal mic input down a bit. You've got some harsh distortion happening. Don't be afraid to record low - you can always turn it up later.
• Sounds like a line-in on the acoustic. I suggest getting a less harsh EQ setting or recording with one mic pointed where the body meets the neck, and aimed a little toward the sound hole.

• Of course record everything as flat as possible then use EQ in the mix.

• Try using a compressor on every track, but mainly the vocal. This will keep your levels more consistent so when you hit a high note you don't blow out the mix.

I know this is just a test recording. Just watch that distortion in the vocal. You have a cool sounding voice, and it's a shame to cover it up with distortion.

Great Song man!

Chad


http://www.humboldtmusic.com/chadjohnson
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." Willy Wonka