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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 10/19/26 10:48 PM
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,242
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,242 |
Hi Stephen.
Like your song very much - just love that chorus - great work!
Lyric ideas, I would add a color on the hair - long auburn hair or long blond hair on some other descriptive phrase. I'd find two new lines where you have "So in love but you know it's such a shame - that she barely knows your name" and save the hook line for the last line in the first chorus. That's it. best of luck with this one.
Pete
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