Hi Ricki,

I think the melody of the verses and chorus is pretty brilliant. Very deliberate and the interplay of the melody with your guitar is VERY interesting.

I don't care much about the verse with "redeeming diversion" and "latest desertion". I think your song might be stronger if you eliminated this verse. Also if you eliminate this verse, your departing, before the last chorus words would be "I was ready when the day had come But not when day was done". That might be a far stronger close than "latest desertion".

Regardless, super nicely done,

Peace,

Ian

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