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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 10,330
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 10,330 |
Until close to the end, I thought you did well on the singing. I liked the verses. I really don't care for the hook that much nor the chorus. You are asking for a reason, but it's very clear from the beginning his abandonment is reason enough. The last chorus made more sense to me. A reason to believe that things will get better. Perhaps just using the last chorus would help. Even with that, I think you need to develop both the lyrics and melody of the chorus more. But remember that I DO like the verses and how you sang them. 
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