Hmm. I'm new to this forum, so I don't know the history that may be behind some of the comments I just read on this set of lyrics, but...here's my two cents:

These lyrics are funny and very obviously tongue-in-cheek. The concept is a new take on an old story, sure, but welcome to songwriting these days. I like the setup of the verses (first verse all the things he doesn't do; the rest all the things he does); I think that reinforces the hook.

As far as singability goes, maybe it's just me, but I had a little melody and rhythm going in my head for this the whole time and could easily see these lyrics taken several different ways musically. Yeah, they're not going to have a whole lot of poetic flow, but that really wouldn't suit the tone of the piece, either. Also, maybe this song wouldn't be a huge commercial success, which is debatable in my book, but I could very much see it being a popular live number - in my experience, this is the kind of thing audiences eat up.

As a songwriter, I like the lyrics and would have music pounded out in about ten minutes (give or take). As a singer, I like the lyrics and would absolutely love to use this piece in a live show. I don't know that there are many songs posted in this kind of forum where that would be true, serious, silly, or otherwise. Just my opinion, though.

Best of luck,
Tari