JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Right Here On This Earth (Finally)

I commend you right off for pulling this all together in spite of your trials Mike. Well worth the journey because it's a great song, great singer, great melody, great instrumentation, nice groove, catchy and I'm on my 4th listen.

Lyrically I offer a few ideas that kept coming to me came upon each listen.

1. Not sure if you should change your title to "Miracles"???
2. In your Chorus I would definintely consider changing the 3rd line from "I believe they could" to "I believe they do" for a couple reasons. First, throughout your song you are saying for certain that infact miracles do occur (and they do) and when you say they "could" you are leaving room for doubt which is in conflict to your other words and leaves me somewhat confused. Also,the word "do" would rhyme perfectly with "you" found in the last line of your Chorus. It's a one word change that to me is the crux and critical. They "do" is more resolute! I also think the rhyme in the sing would be like ear candy for the listener in this instance.

Miracles occur
Right here on this earth...
I believe they do
Tell everyone you know
They're there if you hope
Like the one I found with you, Like the one I found

If you do change "could" to "do" you might want to think about changing "It's there if you hope" to "They're there if you hope" since "it's" sounds singular and "they're" would sound plural as in more than one miracle, i.e. miracles.

Thinking on your bridge and wondering if that could be alittle stronger lyrically. They say to introduce new material into your bridge and don't use your hook in your bridge and I am hearing/seeing your hook as "miracles" not "right here on earth". I might be able to think of somethingfor the bridge if you'd like but I'd have to come back to that cause I gotta get to sleep now.

But anyway you have something really good going here and Mina can sing (but then you knew that!)

Check back later.

Best to all,
Lynn

love the "I believe" being repeated and repeated as your outro!!