JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Right Here On This Earth (Finally)

Hey Songwriting Guru,

So sorry that it's taken me a while for me to listen to this song since you e-mailed me a few weeks ago, but here I am now...:-)

I will unfortunately say, this isn't *technically* urban R&B, but it's mainly a pop sing with a *slight* influence with Adult Contemporary R&B, kind of a bit of a fancier "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus...but I digress...

Now, before I start my analysis, I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE the instrumental arrangement and Mina's voice, she fits perfectly for this song!!

Some minor things, but definitely things you may want to think about with the song:

For some reason, I feel that some parts of the verses feel a bit awkward, it may be due to the rhythm and the emphases of how syllables are placed within a phrase. This is very apparent in the first verse (plus the melodies between Verse 1 and Verse 2 don't match, which isn't always a bad thing):

Here's a suggestion for Verse I

[I] wait on a someday (The "I" starts on the upbeat of Beat 2)
[Just] running out of time
It's the story of my life (These two words could be on the downbeat of Beat 1 and Beat 2 of that measure)
No one hears but I'm praying ("No" and "one" could be on the downbeat of Beat 3 and Beat 4 of that measure, while "hears" could be emphasized by having it be Beat 1 of the next measure)
If I could only find the strength
To put my world back into place

I absolutely love your lift:

You never know what changes everything
For the rest of your life

The chorus is really catchy, just got a few suggestions on it too:

Miracles occur 
Right here on this earth...
I believe they [really] could (it's kind of awkward to hear a melisma in the middle of a phrase in pop music nowadays, most of the time pop song melismas are usually heard at the end of phrases)
Tell everyone you know
It's there if you hope
Like the one I found with you, [the one I found with you] (you may want to complete the final line on the chorus, even if you're repeating it, just to give the chorus some bit of closure)

In Verse 2, I felt as if you used too many words...try to keep it simple as possible. Here's a suggestion:

That smile before you cry
A blessing in disguise 
What's taking me over
When I'm looking at my life
It's hard to realize
This is how it is (Your singer sang "(that) this is how it is" rather than is what's on your lyric sheet. I figured that she would follow the same rhythm as Line 3 in this verse, which would make more sense...)

Your bridge and coda were very effective!!

Sorry if I ended up butchering your song...it has a lot of potential to make it on an album, it just needs a little more fine tuning!

Keep up the good work!

-Karen :-)