Originally Posted by TKO
Hi Kim, I really liked these lines because I could connect to them:
We had a blast picking out the saddest
marked down Charlie Brown tree
‘Cause once we decorated it with love,
it was pretty as could be

Where I think you could be stronger is developing your hook some more, making the chorus stronger and more descriptive. As a reader/listener, I was left asking why? Why is the person not there anymore? Why did he/she leave? Death,, cheating/divorce, etc? I feel like you haven't told the whole story yet, ie more development with the details. Good start for sure, but I try and develop it even more. GL!


I was attempting to do it where the story could be a number of reasons, like the song Merry Christmas Darling by Karen Carpenter, it just says, she wishes they were together but does not say what happened...
I did this to try to appeal to more listeners...but maybe that is not the right route to go...something to think about I suppose..I am glad you liked the charlie brown reference, others on another site did not...

smile thanks for taking time to comment and read it
Kimberly

*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
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