Originally Posted by Dan Sullivan
Kim, the first two lines are very descriptive. But line 3 is a clunker. Chests don't resonate from a drum beat...at least not very loudly. But that should be easy enough to fix and the rest of verse 1 is fine. And the chorus is fine.
I would think a chest would resonate with the beat, I know when I was a kid and standing next to a parade, you could feel that beat deep in your chest from a drum...maybe another word would work better??
In verse 2 I'm baffled by "Live Oak." What's that? The rest of the verse is fine.
Live Oak is something around here, and mostly all over the USA from what I have read...I did look it up before using it..here is one of like 4 places I researched...
http://www.sptreefarm.com/interesting-facts-about-live-oak-trees.html
The first 2 lines of the bridge are also fine. But lines 3 and 4 ring false. Why would they have to be patient and waiting on you? They're going to have a party. It will go on without you. So why not simply say something like "But I don't feel like celebrating so why should I pretend?" Not waiting on them having the party, of course they would go ahead and have their party, I meant it as waiting for me to be ready to go to a party...maybe I need to re-word it...

Anyway, just some thoughts of mine. This is a well written lyric. Keep up the good work.


Thanks, I hope my answers helped some but if people are questioning meanings then it is something I have to look at for sure..

KIM

*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
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