Kristi, You've taken a small step towards clarity in the rewrite, but my best advice now is to quote from your song:

Its hard to breathe
When youre afraid
But I know youve got
So much more to say

Tell us a little about what happened to your friend that she has come to you for advice. Be brave and honest. Begin the song by restating what your friend told you in plain language. Then talk to her in your song. You have to set the scene before you have the actors begin the dialogue. It will make it all so much clearer to us.

You know he'll never stop drinking
It's not just some phase
It's time to stop thinking
You can change his ways


Something like that.



Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

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