Hi again Dan,

You've pointed out something I wondered about...the lyric starts off in the middle of "the action." That's how you want to begin a movie...you know...hook the audience in. In film, you've got 10 whole minutes to do that before you lose your audience. In songs, I have no idea how long we have....lol! 10 seconds??

I see what you're saying about knowing about the story. We can't care about him if we don't know him...but at the same time, I want the song to be universal. I want it to apply to any dream people may be having and trying to reach. Could be winning a game, quitting smoking, drinking, getting a new job...whatever. I want it to apply to it all.

The verse you pointed out below is too vague and my chance to stick in what you are missing. I could add that info to V1 as well like you are suggesting to build up to it.

It’s hard to breathe
When you’re afraid
But I know you’ve got
So much more to say

So I'll think about how to keep it universal, yet get the message of the hook across.

I appreciate your time and thoughts regarding this! It makes me think and go deeper...stretch the mind! grin

Kristi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist