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Gone
by Michael W. Brown - 09/29/26 09:40 AM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
Well, Lynn has one of the toughest jobs in songwriting IMO. Writing a "generic--non specific lyric for film music that still "says" something. I still haven't any sound so can only crit the lyrics. From the comments on MP3, I think maybe folks are being influenced by the music-vocal-and the fact that the words fit the music well, but-----Sorry Lynn.--I don't think the lyrics by themselves can stand alone as they ideally should be able to. I "will" say I think the bridge is quite good. Read the lyrics by themselves--how much do they say that's "new" or "different"?----'Too" generic IMO The first segment that's partly repeated can I think, be better and still be non-specific. You have memory and remembering, nearly the same thing, in succeeding lines.. In line 2, maybe something about "My mind sees you clear" or something to get away from "memory". In line 4, something more descriptive than "summer day" That last ____day or something. "wore-adore" like some of the other rhymes, too "convenient" or obvious. I could gp on but that's probably more than enough <G>. I could be out in left field by myself, but is so, that's all right. wouldn't be the first time. Good luck with it to all involved or who may be involved, since nothing appears cut n' dried yet Wy
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Entire Thread
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"Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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11/29/07 04:57 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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11/29/07 07:39 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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11/30/07 02:31 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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11/30/07 02:25 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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11/30/07 03:26 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Kaley Willow
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11/30/07 05:56 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/01/07 02:03 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/01/07 02:35 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/01/07 02:44 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)
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12/01/07 06:09 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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12/01/07 06:43 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/02/07 12:47 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/02/07 12:55 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/02/07 01:08 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/02/07 08:59 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Kaley Willow
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12/02/07 08:32 PM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/03/07 12:53 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/03/07 01:01 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/03/07 02:05 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/03/07 02:13 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/03/07 04:42 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/03/07 05:05 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mark Kaufman
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12/03/07 05:15 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Tricia Baker
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12/03/07 06:12 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/04/07 02:38 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Kaley Willow
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12/05/07 12:12 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Bobbie Gallup (D)
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12/05/07 04:54 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/05/07 07:05 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/05/07 07:15 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Harriet Ames
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12/05/07 09:52 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/06/07 03:38 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Bobbie Gallup (D)
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12/06/07 04:22 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Lynn Orloff
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12/06/07 07:02 AM
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Re: "Remembering" ( Kaley, Lynn, Sub (Mike) Collaboration)
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Mike Caro Substudio
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12/06/07 10:30 AM
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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