This a beautiful melody...and to listen to Mike sing it...
it's seems at first to be a beautiful song
BUT... as others have said... the lyrics need some work
as they'e said... there is a lot of repetition here...so much so...that I thought at first that the third verse was just a repeat of the first....until I went back and read along...
vauge is one thing..... but there needs to be a little more than this
Also..there a re some rhymes that I was expecting that really struck me by their absense...
take for example the first verse....
the way the music is phrased....I expected to hear a rhyme for REMEMBERING (3rd line) but instead the end of the 6th line was KNOWS
that jarred me a bit...

The other thing that hit me... it didn't seem like you matched the structure of the music with the format of your lyric as well as you could.
Rather than a chorus.... this song really just has a bridge...(or two) and thus...the verses need to be set up for that... with a repeat of the hook/title placed on the musical hook...(oftentimes one of the last two lines) (you know... a refrain?) Doing that would add some firmness to the structure...

there is a lot of potential here... but IMO still needs a lot of work


Harriet
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=24419

http://cdbaby.com/cd/ames

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkGHmJQ-ODU