Hey Kristi and everyone...

This has been quite the interesting thread... I'm sorry I missed it's inception, but I'm glad I finaly got here to take a look. I too find myself in a rut sometimes... just writing vvcbvc or some variant... I also like to break out of the mold and try something different... I still can't go solely on the AAA format, but I have gotten to the point of where I do some AABA's. So in time maybe I'll get myself acustomed to trying new things... Here is a couple of examples of my work that have stepped into different structures. Both of these were inspired by Dylan and his use of story telling in verses and adding the hook in ( I added it in the end on both songs)

Shameful desires

1st Verse
Eloquence in each step she takes
Like a doe on a pillow of clouds
The essence of beauty in her right hand
While lies spill out of her mouth
Illusions of splendor and grace
Give way underneath the shroud
What you aren’t hearing her say
Is said in her actions out loud
Caught in a web of deception
Like a moth attracted by fire
Soon you’ll be cremated by
Your shameful desires


2nd
A golden goose for your repast
With a silver spoon as a utensil
While millions die of starvation
You write them all off with a pencil
You’ve cars and homes by the score
Yet you’ve never given one cent no!
Though one day you’ll have to account
And your spirit it may be sent low
A heart overflowing with greed
Quenched only by flames and the fire
Soon you’ll be cremated by
Your shameful desires

Bridge
Woe to those whose hopes and joy
Lie in things of waste and want
All the palaces of today
Become the mansions ghosts will haunt

3rd
There’s a still small voice crying out
Proclaiming thoughts of redemption
Desiring to give you a new heart and soul
And absolution from your pretension
Won’t ya listen closely and heed the call
Your wounds could use some attention
You won’t be saved by your IRA
There’s not enough left in your pension
Give over all you think is yours
Lest it all be burned in the fire
Don’t be chained down by
Your shameful desires

Copyright August 9, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

Wherever this road may lead

1st Verse
Surrounded by poisonous snakes
With some kinda cum laude degrees
Shimmering suits outside of the shade
Their eyes alighting with greed
Seeking to devour my heart and my soul
Nothing it seems will appease
As my creations bubble and boil
They’re coated with self righteous greed
Though my works are tarnished by fame
I’ll still reap from planting the seed
Just going along with the game
Wherever this road may lead

2nd Verse
Every man’s a prisoner
With some kinda ball and a chain
Most of the time he’s covered in dirt
Cept when he’s drowin’ in the rain
Tied down to standards and status
Not free to seek his own will
Wanting his blood and sweat for gratis
Enslaving him to thoughts of overkill
He’ll leap through circles of flames
With no chance he’ll ever be freed
Just going along with game
Wherever this road may lead

Bridge
A fighter gets felled like the mightiest oak then the media sets him ablaze
The cowboys get slaughtered and the ones who survive give up on their rodeo ways

3rd
Amazed how the mighty have fallen
Each one’s strength now giving way
The voice of the reaper is callin’
Meals over surrender your cup and tray
As you slip from the limelight to twilight
Your existence is clouded with doubt
As a famous bluesman once told you
Nobody loves you when you’re down and out
You know you’ve got no one to blame
Lay down your arms and succeed
Just go right along with the game
Wherever this road may lead

Copyright March 28, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

Both songs are very similar in structure and I hope to expand on this structure and try new things, though as others have said it certainly isn't the commercial approach, but I would rather diversify now than get stuck in the same boring mold..
Derek



All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346