Hi Randy,

Oh dear….I have to really think now….LOL :o What I hear you saying is to get the verses to “flow and grow” and I sort of know what you mean, but not sure I can pull it off! I originally had the hook line change a bit with the verses, like with “your memory weighs heavy…”, etc but changed it to just “you” because that’s more direct. Alright, why not experiment a bit, you never know whatcha might find…. Can’t hurt…(well, it can, but.. whistle ) I’ve added to the 5th line, making it 6 line verses now, hoping to add a mix of contrasting/aligning ideas with the hook while also giving it a purpose, multiple meanings, so to speak. Among other things, I'm sure, I have the issue of phrases wrapping around to the next line inconsistently now and a very strange rhyme scheme:

You laugh more when you’re around her
Stop and listen when she talks
I know you better than she does
But that battle’s already been fought
In the trenches, on the front line
Where you weigh heavy on my mind

The city can’t sleep with the lights on
And lost souls crossing the street
As my thoughts drift with the soft wind
I wonder how life’s supposed to be
All around me there are signs
Hard to see with you heavy on my mind

You’ll romance her
Dance the last dance with her
There’ll be hushes in the night and candlelight
Strolls outside, talks about life
And plans I wish were mine

There’s a friend beneath my wooden/shallow/somber/painted/powdered face
Who laughs and cries with you
But I need to rise above it all
And find other things to do
Cuz I know how to hold back time
And keep you heavy on my mind

So I’ll pick myself up and disappear
Into the city crowds
I may not know where I’m going
But I won’t keep my head down
And I won’t look behind
Even though you weigh heavy on my mind

I do appreciate you telling me your gut reaction. That's in fact, what I like to hear from people! smile I thank you kindly for your thoughts and ideas...

Kristi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist