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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487 |
There's never been a moment or another place in time That could ever match the feeling of you here by my side.
There's never been a breath that I would ever want to hold Than swimming deep into your depths to quench my lonely soul
(chorus) With your warm breath upon my skin I feel your fires that burn within I look into your eyes and see There's never been a love like you for me
I like the chorus but don't love it. I thought "lonely soul" on the last line before the chorus should have been vocally stronger and higher to lead into the chorus. Maybe it was the chord change from the verse to the chorus--just didn't elevate enough for me, although it was lovely.
There has never been a kiss placed so softly on my face That traced a path to my lips for our mouths to embrace this line..so-so for me
There's never been a burning need or strong desire That burns with such abandon to set my soul on fire
(chorus) With your warm breath upon my skin I feel your fires that burn within I look into your eyes and see There's never been a love like you for me
(Bridge) There will always be a dawn, you will always turn me on not fond of this part...I was hearing "wrong" as a rhyme. Thoughts of you are on my mind Thoughts of you too many "thoughts of" here and me that last throughout eternity And spending it one moment at a time
like the chording in the bridge
With such an intimate song like this every line, every thought has to count. I think it's close but not there yet. Lyrically it needs to be tweaked to wring out every emotion. The piano is lovely and Ian is money but I'm feeling it needs more low end somehow. That could be bass notes on the piano or cello...something to give it more bottom end because the whole thing is all mid-range.
Singing is wonderful as usual.
Great start.
Zeek
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