Hi Roy. Good to see you're posting again.

For me, production is ok but needs more work both lyrically and vocally.

Lyrically, your first verse sets up the story of a normal working guy and the chorus tags on informatively and that is fine.
Then there's the part about relaxing in a chair (anything special about that particular chair?) taking the pain away without explaining what the pain is.
There is also a period of dreaming of superstardom without mentioning a reason (Is he an ex pro something or a pub singer?).
The attempt to insert humour with "bill is my lender's name" seems disconnected and is a dead end.

You may also work a little on the rhythm of the lyrics and or change the rhythm away from "swing".
The emphasis on "when" in "when .... mum and dad ..." sounds odd.
Like it's been hung out to dry.
"When mum and dad" sung straight could sound better.

Needs a little meat on the bones.

Vic

It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

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