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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:39 PM
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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:38 PM
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Gone
by Michael W. Brown - 09/30/26 07:17 PM
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Mara Cole
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/30/26 01:32 PM
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
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OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Love those opening lines, the music gets your right in the mood! I like how you've used harmony in the verses quite sparingly, just to emphasize key words, I thought that worked very well. And those dramatic moments like "the thunder of guns" are excellent. I would suggest paring back the harmonies in the chorus a little. They should be there more than in the verse, but a little contrast without them is nice too. Great story. And a "wheel comes full circle" type ending. I wondered if the 2nd time through the chorus you might vary it slightly with "so you face what you've become" or something like that. Very good stuff!  Owen - thanks for having a listen. Appreciate the suggestions... I'll stick with the harmony layout as it currently is... Hi Floyd.
Not heard this style from you before.
Very well written and I like the harmonies "the thunder of guns" especially.
Vic Thanks, Vic.
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