Originally Posted by couchgrouch
hi Floyd...I love me a gun slinger tale. One thing I would say is that the reveal of the shooter being his son comes out of nowhere. There's no foreshadowing that his son was interested in guns, or would hate his father enough to gun him down in cold blood, just to have killed the best. It needs that for the story to have believability. Otherwise it's what they call a deus ex machina. Again, just my opinion. good luck with it. smile


The song is already 4 minutes long. I suppose I could have written a backstory for the son - about how screwed up he was from Dad being a cold-blooded killer and leaving his family with nothing and the hatred that that cultivated. And how the son practiced daily looking forward to the day he would track the scoundrel down. Guessing that would have added another 4 minutes - and who wants to listen to 8 minute songs? I believe most people have an imagination and can easily make up a backstory. Quite quickly, actually. It doesn't take a genius. It can have different scenarios, varying nuances, depending on the listener. And all happen in a matter of seconds once the son is mentioned. I don't see it as a hail-mary-blue-sky-wrap-this-up-somehow thing. If you see it that way, okay...

Or... maybe it is not his son at all. Read carefully. "Could that be...through the smoke..." could just as easily be construed as meaning that he had spent his whole life thinking about his son, regretting his decision to leave... and that is the last thing on his mind as he lies dying as a consequence of his life...

Oh, the possibilities....

Thanks for your thoughts.