Wow! The JPFers have been busy ranting since I've been away!

Dearest Tom,
You totally hit the nail on the head when you stated, "But, I guess they trade one compulsion for another." From my humble experience, I have learned that a compulsion of any kind is seen manifested by an "assertion" of that item rather than just plain doing it. It's the "assertion" that gives it away.

People are trying to survive and it is not easy. But, when you add to it the mechanism of a compulsion, well, I'd hate to be in his shoes.

I'm sure you already know that people operate with a basic instinct toward survival. Well, a compulsion has contained in it a manic desire to survive which is actually controlling the person rather than the other way around.

Short of your brother actually locating and erasing the compulsion itself, (which can be done without drugs, hypnosis or other such things), it might just be best to understand that his preachy dramatizations are dictated by his compulsive mechanism and NOT totally created by him.

Perhaps with that knowledge, you might not be as affected. But, I totally understand how difficult it is to deal with that every time you see your brother. My brother has been stuck in the past ever since my parents died and he has withdrawn to the point of being very paranoid.

I won't bother you with my similar troubles, but I learned how to deal with my brother by seeing him only when I am up to the task and when I can grant him the space to be what he has going on without getting too frustrated in the process. It's one of the hardest things I experience. But, I do it because he is my brother and my mom would have wanted me to do so. I also do it because...well...he is my brother.

Love to you,
Auntie Rant

"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney