It's a strange thing to read this thread. I see so much of my own evolution of thought through the years here... first, where I believed what I was told, then where I adapted my beliefs to try and paint what I had been told in a kinder light, then having to abandon them all together because they just didn't stand up to logic and reason. I have a Christian friend who tells me that I am saved, because there was a point in my life where I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. He tells me it doesn't matter that my beliefs have changed... a 'once saved, always saved' kind of rationale. If that were the case, though, why would it matter if I never believed to begin with?

Is God, the Universe, the creator of all, so obsessed with his own ego that he would punish his own creations for eternity for having a different belief than that which comes to us through organized religion? Or for growing up in another culture with another system of beliefs, and simply rejecting a different origin story when it comes our way later in life? If I find myself in hell, will I be in the company of Gandhi, the Buddha, the Dalai Lama, and countless other kind souls who understood truth and compassion in the world in such profound ways, but failed to channel those understandings through something as abstract and prone to interpretation as a belief? Will it only be members of one branch of Christianity who find themselves in Heaven, with others left out for following the wrong doctrine, the wrong leader, the wrong church?

Anyone who has looked at the historical origins of the Bible, and the many ways the modern church has used it to serve their own ends, must also spend time trying to reconcile how the infallible word of God that we take in such a literal sense, has been changed so many times over the years by the hands of men, and often with the intent of using it to control.

I think belief in God is like art. Some of us do the paint by numbers, some of us paint what we see around us, and some of us like abstract and pull in all different colors to create things entirely new. Some of us just don't like art. It all has meaning, it all draws criticism from one side or another. In the end, though, it's all just an expression of our personal experiences and can mean something entirely different to those who view it after we are gone. And it all is trying to grasp something that no one fully understands.

Having said all that, I know I believe in something, and have seen far too much in this life that defies explaination to think this is all there is. If the spirit is eternal, though, this life (and all the goods and bads we commit within it) is surely just a spec of sand in a learning experience... only 'God' knows to what ends. I think we'll see our loved ones again, but I doubt it matters what they believed, and I doubt that there is some kind of afterlife segregation that treats us only as the people we were in life.

Just my two cents.

Very sorry for your loss, John.

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