To Colin Ward
JPF Mp3 Boards

Colin

Thanks for considering us, I listened to the song and I recall
having heard this song submitted once before as while back. So I guess having the "Naked" in the title worked!
While it is very heartfelt song and performance I feel the song would need more substance to be effective. Both lyrically and musically.
Straight of the bat the first verse felt a bit awkward and the phrasing was not solid or confident. Even if something has very few words or many it needs to command some attention or emotion from the listener. It just didn't sing well.
The chorus was pretty much the same, and the lyric really didn't offer to much. There simply not strong enough.

Singer/songwriters usually write there own songs, but even looking passed that here the more successful ones incorporate more depth in the song. Much more imagery and colorful words.
Also they get you thinking, and get you feeling a lot musically.
A word or a line, actually more than one needs to jump out and off the page. It doesn't mean it has to be a very serious song but it does have to be very effective. And even if they lack the best lyrics ever, they draw you in just as much musically.

Wish I could have been more helpful, all the best and thanks again for submitting.

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com