Originally Posted by IdeaGuy
Mr. Know-it-all,

Thanks in advance for taking the time to listen and evaluate my latest song "This Ain't A Love Song" I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Greg Swartzentruber

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8013020

This Ain't A Love Song
(c) 2009 Greg Swartzentruber/Dorothy Potter/Robert Sands

I've been tryin' to write a love song for you
But it's no use, it's something I can't do
Cause everything I wanna write's been said before
But I wanna tell you somehow
That I love you more and more

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
I can't find the words to say
How I feel but I want to show you everyday
But this ain't a love song

I bet those love songs that you hear on the radio
Make you sigh, they're full of words I don't know
But fancy words fall short of what I feel today
And when I look at you my darling
You simply take my breath away

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
I can't find the words to say
That I'm grateful every time you call my name

Bridge~
Cuz this ain't some love song
Like you hear most everyday
To me they just feel wrong
Can't bring myself to sing 'em
Gonna show you all my love some other way


So I hope that it's enough for me to say
that you're the one I think about you night and day
And when I hold you in our quiet bed at night
Well I think that writing love songs
Is just a big old waste of time

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
But don't get me wrong
There's nothing else I'd rather do today
Than tell you that forever I will stay with the one that I adore
There's nothin more to say

So this ain't a love song
No, this ain't a love song



Greg Swartzentruber
JPF Mp3 Boards


Dear Greg,

I listened to "This Ain't A Love Song" and I was drawn in nicely by the feel and the opening music. This song is well done but it's lacking something. I believe the first problem lies in the lyrics. It just needs to be a bit more effective.
It had wonderful potential both lyrically and musically then it let down. Starting with the line -
That I love you more and more

I feel perhaps more could be done with this "title"
"This ain't a love song" but it's more of a ???
The lyric overall just needs to be more potent and effective.

Musically is was closer to nailing the spot, The open chords change feel was great. The melody was pretty good and the chorus melody started out wonderfully. I'm still singing the opening line in my head after only one listen to the chorus. Didn't play out and resolve the hook as good as it could I feel.

I would suggest a -re-draft sticking with the music and re-working the lyrics and some melody sections.

Close, your on the right track here Greg.

Thanks for submitting
Mr Knowitall
NYC Sublevel Music

Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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