Originally Posted by Colin Ward
Dear Mr. Knowitall,

I see that you are running out of new songs to review and have found few hits! While my first submission did not catch your ear, if you are willing to listen to a second one from me, I am sure you will have a hit on your hands, even though it is in the Adult Contemporary genre rather than hip hop, teenie-pop or country.

This is a Florida beach song called Folks on Treasure Island.

[color:#990000][size:14pt]Folks On Treasure Island[/size][/color]

Folks on Treasure Island Copyright © 2009 Colin Ward

V1
Fat guy sittin' on a park bench,
Shorts hang below his knees,
Hair down his back to his plumber's crack,
Looks like he's taking it easy,
Waiting for a bus

V2
A pickup truck full of people,
Coming from the beach all wet,
Carrying signs, protesting the times,
Something has got 'em upset,
Hope it's not us

CHORUS
Folks on Treasure Island,
Soaking up the Florida sun,
Kids with curls and boys with girls,
The beach is where they've come,
To kick up a fuss

V3
Bikini strolling the sidewalk,
Guys all stop and stare,
Pink on her back, stamp like a tramp,
Pretendin' she don't care,
Who can she trust?

CHORUS

INSTRUMENTAL

Br
Hair of blue and silver,
Living their memories,
Walking with a cane, ignoring their pain,
Loving the sun and the breeze,
Soon be back on the bus

CHORUS



Colin Ward
JPF Boards



Dear Colin,

Thanks for this recent submission. Well you did state yourself in the letter all the categories it wouldn't fit which are all the main chart categories.
Now Adult Contemporary? I have too check see if that's still a chart. It seems that genre has been reserved for radio stations playing classic rock/pop or oldies. Sad but true, the last things I heard in that world were a range of artists from Celine Dion, to Rod Stewart to Meatloaf.
This song does not fit those mentioned or others like them.

While I think this song is catchier then the last one you submitted it is still a tough bet for any placement.
Regardless even of a genre it still needs hit song elements.
While I appreciated the humorous angle of these lyrics and the craft in which you laid it out, this lyric and subject matter
is just not going to be relate able to enough people IMOP.

Sorry to say not a hit here in any chart category but a well written work. Reminds me, I find many writers are still aiming at a Margaritaville approach to a hit song. Although there's merit in it, is there any place for it in 2009? Not sure. Perhaps Toby Keith has filled that gap. But even with that approach that song is very tight.. A Very very memorable hook, the biggest key to a hit song period.
All The best and thanks again.

Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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