Originally Posted by Irwin
Dear Mr Knowitall, thank you for the opportunity to submit
material, please fine enclosed my Soundclick link and lyric sheet for the song
"I Didn’t Cry Last Night" for a female vocalist, thanks again,



Listen here:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=495672



I Didn’t Cry Last Night

© 2000 Irwin Byron Abrigo


(V1)
I was the fool
you broke all the rule
playing games that lovers do
Never caring
bout my feelings
nights alone I sit and cried
Asking myself why
all I ask is that you love me too
But last night I told myself
I ain't crying no more
I stood up strong, cause I realize
I’ve got to survive


(Chorus)
And I didn't last night
I'm not complaining
I didn't cry last night
all that you've put me though
I’m not hurting anymore
I made it through the storm
and Now there's a calm
cause I'm not crying no more


(V2)
Knowing its wrong
still you went along
Breaking each and every vow
I was thinking about our marriage
I do believe in love
even though for it hurts
I give you my all
Why can’t you give it too
I use to cry every and every night I did
On my pillow I’d cried
a river like the Nile


(Chorus)
And I didn't last night
I'm not complaining
I didn't cry last night
all that you've put me though
I’m not hurting anymore
I made it through the storm
and Now there's a calm
cause I'm not crying no more



Irwin
JPF Boards

Dear Irwin

Thanks for your recent submission. Listened to the song and while it is nicely presented it just doesn't make the cut.
It's simply not strong enough musically or lyrically. It needs more substance in both areas.
If you listen carefully the first thing you should notice is how the first verse felt awkward and seems to string along way too long. Wordy and the phrasing just ran into each other, the listener could not catch on too anything.

I don't often have the time to get into it in detail.
But perhaps as an exercise and for fun re-edit the lines you have and force a rhythm change to the melody. MAke this bounce and break it up some..

I was the fool
who broke the rules
Playing games that lovers do
Never caring about feelings
Or what I did last night

I can hear a completely different groove for the vocal.

I would keep developing and working on stronger clearer lyrical
aspects, and easier melodies to flow and follow.

All the best
Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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