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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
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OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997 |
Hi Ted Fast work! I wish you could track a vocal for this so I can hear what you're thinking. I liked a lit of words in the this lyric but that may lines fit the feeling of he song, A little edgier, I know what does that actually mean?  Some of the words you used were unexpected liek "fancy frills" "appettite" "blue black car" But the way they are coming out at us is the thing that's off the approach Not Rock enough... you don't wanna really talk about "Rock" or Rockstars. I tried a few ways to sing your chorus to this music and couldn't get it to fit or flow... I did come with something that started to sound cool but the meter threw me Hey girl, Will I have to pay a price I’ve been looking for you Oh so long Don’t think twice We’ll go to paradise It felt like it needed to be more in this meter of words Hey Girl Will I have to pay a price Oh so long I want to go to paradise Hey you ------- -- ------ If you follow what I'm getting at... meter and beat. Nice Work! some good lyric in there.
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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