Hi Ted

Fast work! I wish you could track a vocal for this so I can hear what you're thinking.

I liked a lit of words in the this lyric but that may lines fit the feeling of he song,
A little edgier, I know what does that actually mean? smile Some of the words you used
were unexpected liek "fancy frills" "appettite" "blue black car"

But the way they are coming out at us is the thing that's off the approach
Not Rock enough... you don't wanna really talk about "Rock" or Rockstars.

I tried a few ways to sing your chorus to this music and couldn't get it to fit or flow... I did come with something that started to sound cool but the meter threw me

Hey girl,
Will I have to pay a price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise

It felt like it needed to be more in this meter of words

Hey Girl
Will I have to pay a price
Oh so long
I want to go to paradise
Hey you
-------
--
------

If you follow what I'm getting at... meter and beat.

Nice Work! some good lyric in there.


Thanks!
Peace Mike
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