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Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
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Toxic
by Rob B. - 10/04/26 02:16 PM
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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:39 PM
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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:38 PM
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Gone
by Michael W. Brown - 09/30/26 07:17 PM
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Mara Cole
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/30/26 01:32 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
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OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997 |
I've been following this contest from the beginning, but I finally finished my entry and got B to sing it tonight. I tried not to listen to many of the other songs until I had mine done...once a melody gets tied to a song in my head, that's it! I'll be going back through and listening to the other songs now. (I did sneak a listen to Lyle's song and the hook stuck in my head all day.) That Was Tomorrow, This Is Today ©2008 Mike Caro/Mark Schuessler Vocals: Brandon Rounds VERSE I came home from the jewelry store Found you were gone and read your note You couldn't fake it anymore It's over now, that's what you wrote PRE-CHORUS I thought tomorrow we'd start a new life I'd take a knee, you'd say yes and be my wife CHORUS But that was tomorrow And this is today From talk of forever To dreams ripped away I'm alone with this diamond ring And these words that I planned to say That was tomorrow This is today TAG Everything's wrong Tomorrow's gone Must move on from today VERSE You'd been too quiet for a while You started going out alone I'd only ever see you smile When you were talking on the phone PRE-CHORUS I thought tomorrow I'd hear your laughter Maybe you'd cry, then we'd start our ever after REPEAT CHORUS REPEAT TAG Hi Mark Thanks for joining in... Very thorough job & well written, Very very nice as well.... that's the problem I think - too nice. I thought tomorrow we'd start a new life
I'd take a knee, you'd say yes and be my wifeEven if things don't turn out nice, we don't want this guy or girl to be to whinny we want some angst... it can get a litle sappyish in the chorus as does the music. I did that on purpose for contrast musically. Your melodys have good flow but are not sticking enough.... I would lean away from proposals, diamond rings,jewelry store, laughter or notes...Even though your story is ending in despair, you don't feel the sense of that here. This is to light and soft on this draft... A jewelry store is not the first image we want the listner to think of, unless we are robbing it  Nice work by both you and Brandon, Thankyou!
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