Sorry to hear that, bro. Sounds like I was wrong about that verse. Still, your ideas seem mighty close to the ballpark...

As for me, I'm just going to try to think on a suitable chorus, based on Mr. Mike's advice:
Originally Posted by Mike Caro
On the last few days I would go on, nailing a chorus to go melodically with my 3 sections melodies. My pre-s can use smoothing, absence of the right lyric may be some of the trouble,
My verse sounds like a modern rock song, and thats what we are writing!