Mike,
thanks for listening and commenting...I felt a few spots that would have been rephrased by a great singer (I was kinda shooting for an eighties british pop sound) and I too felt like there are a few lyric tweaks which would need to be made...the sand on his face as he wipes a single tear away - metaphor for our guys in Afghan an Iraq -there in a desert- and though they're tough as nails, a single tear seemed appropriate when they're in such deep thought about gettin' back to their love...have to think about how to deliver that concept with less words... my vocal performance on work tapes has long been something I've struggled with, it takes me alot of takes to get something ready to be of master quality so something with a couple takes really reveals my weaknesses...ha...probably the biggest disappointment of my life...we've got a trip planned here in a week or so, and I've got a music stand full of co-writes, so I don't know if I'll be able to take another stab at this or not...my gut tells me you are going to end up co-writing melody and lyric with whoever gets the green light on this anyway, you are too invested and talented not too...good luck and thanks again for the opportunity...hope your health takes a turn for the better...Moker

P.S.- I have a friend who is also a producer I've worked with on a couple songs- the name of your band reminded me of his group now- they are Contemporary Christian and tour nationally- he had a song that charted well last year "Miracle"- anyway the name of their group is STORY SIDE B ...my friend is Lou Rubino, he's lead singer ,guitar, and writer a very talented guy- here's a link if ya wanna have a listen, I think you'll dig it http://www.storysideb.com/

Say just what you feel and make it rhyme...(Walt Aldridge)

MOKER JARRETT/ASCAP/SINGER-SONGWRITER-PUBLISHER
www.cdbaby.com/all/mjbmusic
www.soundclick.com/mokerjarrett
www.myspace.com/mokerjarrett
www.ourstage.com/fanclub/mokerjarrett
www.iacmusic.com/Artist.aspx?ID=80330
www.A1Aaudioproductions.com