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RY X
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 04:03 PM
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Soft Loft
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 11:52 AM
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8Graves
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/20/26 06:05 PM
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Saosin
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/20/26 02:43 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
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OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997 |
Hi Ted
The verses are much much better, more emotional content.
The chorus is pretty much the same as it was and may be not enough.
I still can't find the perfect example but if you look at the lyric I had for it originally you can see the kind of meter I'm feeling. Kathy used the lines at the top of here versions....
"You carved your name in my heart like an autograph"
Or
"You carved my name in your heart like an autograph"
To switch the angle....
That will get attention and start to put curiosity in the listeners mind.
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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