Originally Posted by Derek Hines
Hey Sub

Ok this one is on the edge of too much, but after the lyric hit my head I had to put it on paper. Then I just had to make it fit the music lol. I'll understand if this isn't the direction you intended.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
My fury rages as strong as lust

I don’t know how long this can last
I’m in a dragon’s pose
Ready to unleash my flame
Better not stand too close

Flames burning your eyes
Will I be your deceiver?

It's sort of an dark angst ridden love song if you will. Hence
the title Goth Romance. Here it is.

Edit
Ok now I know what I was thinking when I wrote this, Sid vicious of the sex pistols. Now back to my mild mannered mildly conservative self lol.

Goth Romance


Hi Derek

Yes I missed this one, this is harder to keep up with then I thought.. Good! smile

"Dragon Pose" another intersting different lyric....

Your pre- chorus is to close to your chorus and the tag is still awkward,
But the chorus is still good... The idea of the darker lyrics are cool but they are not quite hitting it... why? I think because your trying to paint a goth picture instead
of being Goth lol... In other words it's slightly forced. "Ready to unleash my flame"
I think that sometimes has to do with the "angle" of a song. Meaning where's it coming from? ya know the story angle - he- she I - you - me....

I still like your opening line and melody best of everything so far....

* here was my original opening verse line lyric for this.

"You carved your name through my heart like an autograph"

What did he just say? lol...

Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

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